Waiting
by ariaswan
Summary: Every night he stands on the balcony, waiting for her to switch her light on... Unresolved Tseng/Elena


Tseng is getting soaked, but he doesn't move from the balcony. He's half listening out for movement in the room behind him, knowing that if any of the nurses come in they will make him get back into bed. He feels his muscles tensing just thinking about it.

_I'm not an invalid, godamnit. I've been worse than this before, much worse._

This much is true. What the remnants had done to him was _nothing _compared to Sephiroth. Physically, at least.

_Though I don't think I'll ever forget Elena's screams as they..._

He shivers. The rain is settling uncomfortably into his clothes, making them stick to his skin. He doesn't mind it so much, though he knows he'll be feeling the effects tomorrow. Catching a cold is a small price to pay for these few minutes of peace though. During the day, there's so much movement: nurses bustling around; Rufus barking orders; Reno playing the fool... In a way, Tseng is grateful for every second of it- after all, twice now he's thought his life was over, and he _loves_his life, he really does. Even though Shinra is not even half of what it has been, even though Midgar is a shell, even though... But he is still so glad to be alive. He is.

_Am I?_

Across the courtyard of the lodge, a light comes on. Tseng's head jerks up, and he grows tense. After a moment, she appears. When she smiles and raises her hand, he relaxes. She holds up her PHS and he nods. When the tiny cell rings a second later, he answers instantly.

'You must be soaking.' There is amusement in her voice, and barely hidden lust.

'It's refreshing,' he tells her, smiling.

She laughed. 'Refreshing, sure...'

There is a loaded silence. 'Where is Reno?' asks Tseng, though he doesn't really want to know.

'He and Rude went to the liquor store. He won't be back for maybe half an hour.'

Tseng sighs. He knows how amorous Reno is when he is drunk. 'And when he stumbles to your room at three am...'

Elena cuts him off. 'Don't think about it. _Please._' She is begging him, and Tseng wonders at his hold on her, that he can make her beg.

_When Kadaj pressed the knife to h__er eye, she stared right at him. She didn't say a word, she didn't plead, or bargain, or give in. _

What is the point of being able to make her beg when he can't even make her leave Reno?

'Tseng?' She sounds sad, and he feels instantly guilty.

'I'm still here,' he tells her.

'I know.'

There is a desperate silence. They stare at each other. Over the phone he hears Elena sigh.

'How do you feel today?' she asks him.

'Fine. I don't see why Rufus still has so many nurses crawling round the place.'

Elena laughs. 'You know how paranoid he is. We'll never get rid of them.'

Tseng smiles, and even though she can't see it, he imagines she can.

'You looked beautiful earlier,' he tells her.

'Yeah? You didn't look so bad yourself.'

'Mm. I saw you watching me when I was working out.'

She makes a squeak of indignation, and Tseng loves that he can act this way with her, a side of him no-one else ever sees. He wishes they were touching right now...

'I was not. What do you think I am, some kind of pervert?' she huffs down the phone to him.

He laughs. 'Elena, honey, I _know _you're a pervert. You couldn't take your eyes of my ass.'

There is a pause, then they both laugh. 'I hate you,' she lies.

'I love you.'

She swallows hard, and then there's a choked sob. He's made her cry.

'I'm sorry.'

_I'm not sorry._

'It's okay.' She laughs shortly, without humor.

_It's not._

Reluctantly, he says 'They'll be back soon?'

'...Yeah.' She is quiet for a moment. Tseng is about to speak, when her words tumble out. 'God, I want you so much Tseng.'

It's Tseng's turn to swallow. 'Y,yeah?'

'So fucking much.'

Elena never swears, never curses. Tseng feels a brief flash of jealousy.

_Is this how she speaks to Reno?_

'You don't want me?' she asks.

'What do you think?' The frustration in his voice tells her everything, and then suddenly he's angry. 'Do you _really_ want me, Elena?'

_Blink. _'Tseng...'

'Are you still fucking him?' His voice is raw.

'...Yes.'

There is nothing left to say. He could beg her, yell at her, cry... She could try and explain, try and make him see why she can't leave him, only she doesn't really understand it herself. She doesn't stay because she loves him. Is it because she pitys him? Because she's scared of what would happen to their close knit group if she were to break his heart? She may be the youngest, but Reno is the baby of the family. If she upsets that balance...

'Elena?'

'Yeah?'

'I love you.'

'I love you.' Her voice cracks. She tries so hard not to cry, not wanting to have explain her tears to Reno. If he sees her like this he will hold her, and kiss her, try and be everything she needs.

_I need __**you**_

'Goodnight,' he says, softly.

She takes a deep breath, steadying herself. 'Goodnight, Tseng.'

He doesn't hang up yet, and neither does she. They listen to one another's breathing until her door opens. Elena slams her phone shut, and Tseng moves off the balcony, though he doesn't shut the drapes. He watches, seeing the flash of red that is Reno. Rude is in the courtyard having a cigarette. Tseng feels sick. He thought Reno and Rude were drinking together tonight. Apparently not. He looks up again, sees Elena stand from the bed, lifting her shirt off. Reno bites her neck gently, and her head is tipped back as he pulls down the straps of her bra. She lifts her head, sees Tseng even in the dark. She stares sadly at him, even as Reno is kissing her breast. She mouths something at Tseng, but he can't for the life of him work out what she's saying. She pulls away from Reno slightly, and Tseng's heart jumps, But she is only moving to turn out the light, bathing the courtyard once again in darkness.

Tseng watches, knowing by the accusing glow of his cigarette that Rude has seen him. It doesn't matter. Tomorrow, nothing will have changed. The nurses will still bustle around; Rufus will still bark orders; Reno will still act the fool. And Tseng will still stand in the window, waiting for her, waiting for the peach glow to fill the room, and for his PHS to buzz silently in his hand, so he can listen to her breathe, wishing he could touch her, but knowing he never will.

A/N- angsty... I had another ending planned for this, that was a bit more graphic, and a lot more sad. I'll put it up if people want me to... I also have a sort of idea to make this into a series of stories, what do you think? You could tell me in a review... XD


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